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TAWDRY TART TARTIN
What a filthy, no good tart! Strutting itself around unpeeled and sweet to a fault. You’d think this tart would have more manners being of European stock. But clearly all it wants to do is lay about...
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ROCK-HER-WORLD ROQUEFORT SALAD
This salad will rock her world. It will also rock his world. And its world should your dog eat it before you can. It’s like a techno dance party in your mouth. Each complimentary flavor will have...
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THAI HAPPY ENDING MUSSELS
You want happy ending? You got happy ending. No ending will be quite so happy as the one that follows this meal. If you can’t get laid with mussels and wine, you will never get laid…with this date....
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WINE, DINE & 69
Wine is without a doubt the sexiest of all drinks. It ages better than most humans and is good for your heart. The variety of flavors, aromas and textures titillate your senses in oh so many special...
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OOH LE LE BREAKFAST
You gotta hand it to the French. No one pulls off being a bunch of fancy bitches quite like them. You’ll look like a goddamn pansy if you try to replicate without the accent. But for some reason they...
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BBLT – BIG BEAUTIFUL LADY TAMER SINWICH
Don’t let the BBW reference scare you. This sandwich is lean, mean and totally obscene. Just the way you like it. Here at CTB, we strive to make gourmet food accessible for the masses in DIY...
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LOX UP YOUR DAUGHTERS
Parents, you have been warned. Now that this ridonkulously easy recipe is public knowledge, the world of culinary seduction just got a little easier. All those innocent girls yearning to spread their...
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LET THEM EAT SALMON CAKES
That Marie Antoinette was quite the strumpet of her day. This Versailles Vixen raised her bloomers for everyone in the court, men and women alike, except her pantywaist husband Louis XVI. What a...
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FRENCHING YOUR ENGLISH MUFFIN
Some say the English need to loosen up. They walk around with their quiet desperation eager to break out of their shells and become the wild men and women that would make their ancestors gasp. This...
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PANTYLESS POACHED PEARS
Some desserts inspire you to moan with pleasure. Others make you close your eyes and take in all the flavors. But there are some desserts so damn tasty that your underwear disappears. Meet these...
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